Blank Canvas

core_values“If you had to write a bio about yourself, what would it say?” my therapist asked me one day.

I didn’t know. I couldn’t come up with anything that I could recite with conviction. And even what I did come up with didn’t satisfy or sound interesting to me. It didn’t sound like who I thought I was as a person.

I feel like I’ve had a breakthrough. That was my problem: I have no direction. It’s as if I’ve just been living day to day: working, eating, sleeping, paying bills, rinse and repeat. That’s not really a life lived. It’s a mere existence.

Something in my head clicked on that day. Whatever passions I have are shallow, material and fleeting (food, sex, alcohol, and shopping). I spent a majority of my 20s thinking I knew who I was and what I wanted, but then all of that changed. Now I needed to find out who I was.

There are a handful of things I know to be true about myself:

  1. First and foremost, I will always be honest with myself and with those that I love and trust. This will never change. Even if the truth hurts sometimes, I know I am strong enough to take it and dish it out.
  2. Second, I don’t want to live my life in fear. Fear plays tricks on our minds, makes us think we are incapable of what we are truly capable of. I don’t want to give into it.
  3. Third, I will always seek to understand first, judge second. Everyone struggles with their own battles. I am not the only one.

Other than that, I am a blank canvas. This is my journey of self-discovery.


2 thoughts on “Blank Canvas

  1. I read this and CHEERED OUT LOUD! The best thing you did for me was tell me the truth. I remember you had tears down your face when you did it, but I am so GLAD you did it. I love you like family Kristine.

    1. Thanks Heather! See and that’s exactly why I would rather be honest. When you’re honest with someone, you’re giving them an opportunity for growth.

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