Life After a Loved One’s Death Isn’t So Complex After All

It’s been 4 years since my dad passed away. They say life after a loved one’s death gets easier. Sometimes it does. But I won’t lie, I do have days where I wish he was here.

Life After a Loved One's Death Isn't Complicated After All
My dad and I at the Founder’s Parade. This was probably 1986 or 1987.

I think most of all, I wish he was here to meet Craig. I know he would’ve loved him as much as I do. They would’ve gotten along so well. I picture my dad’s face lighting up when Craig and I would come over for family dinners, maybe even offering him a beer. They would talk excitedly about going to the gun range the following weekend. And of course my mom would be displeased because Dad would probably take a detour on the way home and buy some new gun Craig would mention.

That’s how I imagine life would be if he were still here.

Last night, we were at my mom’s house for a little family gathering. We get together every year to say a prayer in remembrance of my dad. My aunts, my uncle, and my sisters and brother and their kids were there.

Everyone took turns sharing a fond memory about my dad. It was then that Craig, who normally is a bit shy around large groups of unfamiliar people, spoke up.

I don’t remember exactly what he said verbatim because I was too overcome with emotion to recall. But basically he said that even though he wasn’t fortunate enough to meet my dad when he was alive, he feels like he’s seen the kind of man he was through everyone’s memories of him and that he’s lucky to be marrying into a family like ours. He only wishes he had been here to walk his daughter down the aisle.

I smiled at him and I patted his knee. My heart bursted out of my chest with pride. I always knew that I wanted to marry someone who would understand how much my parents mean to me, whether they’re living or not. Craig fits that role. He understands that. They say everything falls into place when you meet the one you’re supposed to be with. We are living proof.

I took this photo of my mom and dad for a giveaway I was running one year on my blog.
I took this photo of my mom and dad for a giveaway I was running one year on my blog. This is one of my favorite photos of them, mostly because I remember Daddy saying, “Come here Izzie. Take a picture with me and Lola.” And she jumped in the swing next to them. He loved all the grandchildren, even the furry ones.
This was taken Thanksgiving 2008 maybe.
This was taken Thanksgiving 2008 maybe.
I don't know why I love this photo so much. It's just dad wearing his cool fedora.
I don’t know why I love this photo so much. It’s just dad wearing his cool fedora.
The last time I held his hand.
The last time I held his hand.


Hi Dad, It’s Me, Kristine.

IMG_7750It’s Father’s Day so to remember my dad, I want to tell a story about him. A few years ago, my mom was browsing the paper one Sunday morning when she came across a diamond ring that was on sale. “Oh look at this diamond ring,” she said to my dad. “It’s nice isn’t it?”

“Do you want it?” he asked. “Maybe we should get it.”

Before she knew it, they were going to the store to buy the diamond ring. She wondered why he was so eager to spend a lot of money on an extravagant purchase. She found out later that he had bought a very expensive semi-automatic rifle and needed something to cushion the blow. Don’t ask for permission, ask for forgiveness was his motto. That’s just one of the countless stories we tell when we remember him.

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. I miss you so much.