Returning the Balance

“How has your mood been in the last two weeks?”

“I feel like I am spinning out of control… like I’ve fallen off the wagon and not just hit rock bottom, but started to dig. I feel like yes, I am in this hole. This is where I want to be for now. I’ve been overeating, overdrinking, overeverything the last few days. I gave myself a limit. I said, ‘Ok, you can have this weekend. Do whatever you want, however much of it you want, but on Monday, it all comes to an end and your carriage turns back into a pumpkin.'”

“What do you think fueled that binge?” she asked.

“Anger,” I said. “So much anger that I’ve been holding in these last few weeks. And frustration.”

“When your binge came to an end, how did you feel?” she asked.

“Awful,” I said. “Worse because now I have to recover from the binge.”

Therapy is such a taboo subject. It’s often assumed that if you’re seeing a therapist, you’re probably dealing with some serious mental health issues. Sometimes it’s not though. Sometimes it’s just about applying rational thinking to actions.

I openly talk about going to a therapist. I don’t flaunt it, but I don’t hide it either. I’ve learned so much from it because it brings a level of awareness to my actions that I wouldn’t otherwise be able to address. I’ve always believed that enlightenment is the first step to making things better.

If I’m having an off week, like I have been lately, one of the first things we always look at is where in my life am I lacking? Or what am I getting too much of? What is causing me stress?

Last week, I went for a walk in the middle of the day for the first time in weeks. My view from the park bench was much different from what I remembered. The trees were full of leaves now, bringing shade to the benches below. The park fountains were bubbling. This was a much different park from what I remembered and it reminded me that I’ve been so far off the path.

I think I’ve removed the source of the stress, now it’s just a matter of returning the balance.

One thought on “Returning the Balance

  1. Honestly. If you’ve never been to therapy or are convinced it is just for “people that are crazy,” then I won’t trust you. Every single one of us on this planet has “something wrong with us,” and there are those who know this and deal with it and others who refuse to deal with it.

    I don’t want to know those who don’t deal with it. I really don’t.

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