Every week I’m making progress.

In my last session, my therapist said she’s seeing the consistent weight loss we’ve been looking for. I’ve finally made the lifestyle change so many doctors and nutritionists talk about, and so many people like me want to achieve. Part of me wanted to relax and let out a sigh of relief.

But I still have dark moments from time to time.

Like last night, before falling asleep I spent almost an hour browsing Yelp, looking at photographs of breakfast food. I wanted breakfast at 11:30 PM (despite the fact I had just enjoyed a nice, healthy dinner with my family a few hours earlier). It’s like I am a sex addict and food photos are my porn.

Finally I had to put away my phone.

My addiction is like a wound, and like any wound that heals and scabs over, sometimes it itches. If I scratch it, it might bleed. If I don’t, maybe it will heal once and for all. I feel so crazy admitting that publicly. But part of me thinks that if my honesty on this blog helps someone else recognize and overcome their own addiction, then my humbling discomfort will be worth it.

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