World Book Day: The Power of a Book

World Book Day is today! Reading has always been an integral part of my life, ever since I was a little girl. My mom especially was a particularly active reader and encouraged all of us to take up the hobby.

I remember as a child, she would usually read a story to me before bedtime. Occasionally my mom would drift off to sleep while reading. She would sometimes even start reciting sentences that didn’t even make sense. I would laugh and nudge her, “Mommy, you’re falling asleep!”

There was one book in particular that I would have her read on a recurring basis. The book was called Obstreperous by Ted Greenwood written in the 1970s.

This wasn’t my copy, just a random photo I found on the internet. (Thank you, Google!)

By the time I had inherited it, it was old, discolored and worn out. The stitched binding was loose, but the pages were still in good condition. From what I remember my mom telling me, it was actually my brother’s book before it ended up on my bookshelf instead.

I don’t know why I loved it so much. Maybe it was the illustrations and how they looked like paper collages. Or it could’ve just been the title. In fact, the book was written so as to encourage an interest in vocabulary. This is amusing, particularly because as I got older, I became obsessed with words, often hoarding our family’s 3-volume Webster’s Dictionary in my bedroom so that I could read random pages and learn as many new words as possible.

Strange, I know, but by the time I finished high school, my vocabulary and command of the English language was exponential.

Books have the power to do so many things. They can open minds, create memories and establish strong bonds between people. They can change lives. What about you? What was the last book that changed your life?

Thoughts on Coming Clean: A Memoir by Kimberly Rae Miller

In keeping with my Goodreads goal, I’m trying to stay on top of my reading pace. March was a difficult month for extracurricular activities, so I’m about a month behind. I’m also a month behind in posting reviews on what I read. But now I’m catching up.

I read this book Coming Clean: A Memoir by Kimberly Rae Miller back in February before wedding mode really switched into high gear. It was on my reading list for years when I finally decided to read it. I’m glad I did because this was truly a thought-provoking, emotional and engaging read.

From Amazon:

“Kimberly Rae Miller is an immaculately put-together woman with a great career, a loving boyfriend, and a beautifully tidy apartment in Brooklyn. You would never guess that behind the closed doors of her family’s idyllic Long Island house hid teetering stacks of aging newspaper, broken computers, and boxes upon boxes of unused junk festering in every room—the product of her father’s painful and unending struggle with hoarding.

“In this dazzling memoir, Miller brings to life her experience growing up in a rat-infested home, hiding her father’s shameful secret from friends for years, and the emotional burden that ultimately led to her suicide attempt. In beautiful prose, Miller sheds light on her complicated yet loving relationship with her parents, which has thrived in spite of the odds.

“Coming Clean is a story about recognizing where you come from and understanding the relationships that define you. It is also a powerful story of recovery and redemption.”

I loved the Coming Clean Memoir so much that I couldn’t put it down at times. In fact, I think this is the fastest I’ve read a book by far this year, perhaps last year too.

What made this book so appealing was not only the subject matter, but her writing style. For me, both were relatable. Not to say I had a similar upbringing, but I believe my parents were kinda packrats to a lesser degree.

I think she writes with just the right balance of emotion and wit that keeps the book moving at a steady, easygoing pace. And as far as the subject matter goes, it makes you think twice about judging the people on that show Hoarders.

Disclosure

This book was purchased by me with my own money for personal enjoyment. Opinions are that of my own and not influenced by the publisher or any marketing agency.

Pretty Baby by Mary Kubica: A Book Review

When it comes to favorite genres, I tend to have a pretty expansive range. However, suspense and thriller is where it all started for me. A couple years ago, a coworker of mine recommended Pretty Baby by Mary Kubica. Like me, mystery and suspense novels were her favorite and after reading the synopsis I was intrigued.

Pretty Baby is set in the cold, unforgiving city of Chicago. Heidi Wood is known for her charity. Then one day she sees a homeless teenage girl standing on the train platform in the pouring rain, clutching an infant in her arms. In an instant, the girl and the baby disappear onto the train, and from then on Heidi can’t seem to get the two out of her head.

Then when Heidi encounters the girl and the baby a day later, she offers the girl food and a warm place to stay. Of course, she does this without first consulting her husband or her teenage daughter.

From the moment Willow and the infant Ruby enter their home, their pasts are a mystery. But as the clues gradually surface, what comes to light is a story so shocking that none of them could’ve ever anticipated it.

I’ve never heard of Mary Kubica before so this was my first time reading one of her novels. Her writing is very tiresome so it took me quite a while to really get into the book. But once I finally got hooked, which was about halfway into it, the pace quickened and I could read it a lot faster.

I didn’t like Heidi from the get go. Something about her character seemed very weak and pathetic to me. And, as it turns out, there was a reason why as we witness her mental health unravel. Of course I have to stop right there before I reveal too much.

Throughout her perspective I couldn’t help but sense a thick layer of pro-life propaganda settling on her character, the same way grease eventually settles on the surrounding area of a kitchen stove. But maybe it’s just the timing of when I was reading the book since there were a lot of politically-charged events going on in the news at the time.

Willow, on the other hand, seemed different. From Heidi’s point of view, she was a mystery. She was a threat. But when the story switched to Willow’s perspective, she seemed more like a lost soul.

Pretty Baby is a suspense novel told from different perspectives. The author does use interesting reverse storytelling mechanics to build suspense, but for me it wasn’t enough to overcome the writing.

Disclosure

This book was purchased by me with my own money for personal enjoyment. Opinions are that of my own and not influenced by the publisher or any marketing agency.

To Control Emotions Can Be as Simple as Applying Logic

If you check in on my Friday posts, I usually reflect on what I’ve read during the week in my daily reader (read my post The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday: 2017 Reflectional Reader).  The month of February is all about passion and emotions. If anything, this is what stoicism is most commonly associated with so I was pretty happy to learn that this would be the subject matter. One of the things I’ve either inherently known all my life, or learned early on, is that to control emotions can be as simple as applying logic.

“Keep this thought handy when you feel a fit of rage coming on—it isn’t manly to be enraged. Rather, gentleness and civility are more human, and therefore manlier. A real man doesn’t give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance—unlike the angry and complaining. The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 11.18.5b

Facebook Is a Test of Emotional Resilience

With the tumultuous political landscape, these last couple weeks have certainly been a test of mental and emotional strength. Oh, the numerous times I’ve wanted to yell at my phone after reading the latest headline from our Idiot President and his Administration of Unqualified Lackeys. Believe me, in the beginning I shared almost every post that angered me and accompanied it with an enraged comment.

But after a while, something changed. I realized it was taking an emotional toll on me. By applying a little logic, I learned my anger wasn’t productive. I think that’s the important thing to recognize when our goal is to control emotions. We have to ask ourselves: how is this beneficial?

This is not to say that anger, frustration, and anxiety are not valid emotions. They are part of the myriad of human feelings and should be accepted as equal to the others. These feelings should be acknowledged as valid, but dismissed due to their lack of positive contribution.

“Frame your thoughts like this—you are an old person, you won’t let yourself be enslaved by this any longer, no longer pulled like a puppet by every impulse, and you’ll stop complaining about your present fortune or dreading the future.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 2.2

Eventually I stopped leaving my angry comments on Facebook. Instead I started creating new notes in Evernote, a subscription note service, and venting there. I knew my negative energy needed to be channeled, but I didn’t want to put it out into the the world. Evernote allowed me to pour it out into a private space so that I didn’t just bury it deep inside.

Not Every Instigation Needs a Response

“Fans and opponents called boxer Joe Louis the ‘Ring Robot’ because he was utterly unemotional—his cold, calm demeanor was far more terrifying than any crazed look or emotional outburst would have been.[1]Page 41. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.

I admire that kind of demeanor, at least when the situation calls for it. In order to control emotions and stop the cycle of anger, we have to stop allowing ourselves to be provoked. We have to rise above our impulses and resist the urge to respond.

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What is Friday Focus?

The Friday Focus post is an article related to the reflectional reader I’ve chosen for the year. It enables me to study and retain what I’m reading.


Interested in what I’m reading?

Buy The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman from Amazon Today

References

References
1Page 41. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.

Stoic Philosophy on Money and Material Possessions

My Friday Focus post is a couple days late because I’m still getting back into the rhythm of blogging after begin sick for a few days. In this week’s daily readings on stoic philosophy, there seemed to be a lot of focus on money and possessions. The timing of it was perfect because with it being the beginning of a new year, this is when we all often stop and take stock in our lives. Almost always that inventory includes habits and possessions.

Craig and I are constantly working on our house and ourselves. It seems like everywhere we turn in our tiny abode, there’s something that needs to be fixed, thrown away, or improved.

“Let’s pass over to the really rich—how often the occasions they look just like the poor! When they travel abroad they must restrict their baggage, and when haste is necessary, they dismiss their entourage. And those who are in the army, how few of their possessions they get to keep…”[1]Seneca, On Consolation to Helvia, 12. 1.b-2

Seneca was one of the richest men in Rome. He knows a thing or two about money. He believed money only marginally changed things in life. It doesn’t solve the problems that people without it think it will.

What it comes down to is this: external things can’t fix internal issues.

Everyone talks about this minimalist movement. So maybe the reason why Craig and I feel like our house is so small is because we have so much stuff. Maybe if we just pared down to just the essentials and a few sentimental things, we wouldn’t feel like our home was so… unfinished.

“What’s left to be prized? This, I think—to limit our action or inaction to only what’s in keeping with the needs of our own preparation… it’s what the exertions of education and teaching are all about—here is the thing to be prized! If you hold this firmly, you’ll stop trying to get yourself all the other things…. If you don’t, you won’t be free, self-sufficient, or liberated from passion, but necessarily full of envy, jealousy, and suspicion for any who have the power to take them, and you’ll plot against those who do have what you prize…. But by having some self-respect for your own mind and prizing it, you will please yourself and be in better harmony with your fellow human beings, and more in tune with the gods—praising everything they have set in order and allotted you.”[2]Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.16.2b-4a

In The Daily Stoic, the author mentions Warren Buffett still lives in the same house he bought in 1958 for $31,500 even though today he’s worth approximately $65 billion.

A lineman for the Baltimore Ravens makes millions but still manages to live on $25,000 a year.

And although the author emphasizes that these men are not by any means cheap, he clearly states that the things that matter to them are cheap. This isn’t just how they are, this is the result of prioritizing. They’ve attained a certain clarity that a lot of us wish to have, or aren’t even aware of. They could lose all their millions or suffer an injury that would take them out for a season and still enjoy their lives.

“The more things we desire and the more we have to do to earn or attain those achievements, the less we actually enjoy our lives—and the less free we are.”[3]Page 33. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.

I think this week’s stoic philosophy readings have made an impact on my view of our material possessions. Rather than complaining about how little room we have, now I’m beginning to think perhaps it’s not the space that needs to be evaluated, it’s the things in the space.

What is Friday Focus?

The Friday Focus post is an article related to the reflectional reader I’ve chosen for the year. It enables me to study and retain what I’m reading.


Interested in what I’m reading?

Buy The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman from Amazon Today

References

References
1Seneca, On Consolation to Helvia, 12. 1.b-2
2Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.16.2b-4a
3Page 33. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.