Tag: daily meditation

To Control Emotions Can Be as Simple as Applying Logic

Posted on by Kristine

If you check in on my Friday posts, I usually reflect on what I’ve read during the week in my daily reader (read my post The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday: 2017 Reflectional Reader).  The month of February is all about passion and emotions. If anything, this is what stoicism is most commonly associated with so I was pretty happy to learn that this would be the subject matter. One of the things I’ve either inherently known all my life, or learned early on, is that to control emotions can be as simple as applying logic.

“Keep this thought handy when you feel a fit of rage coming on—it isn’t manly to be enraged. Rather, gentleness and civility are more human, and therefore manlier. A real man doesn’t give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance—unlike the angry and complaining. The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 11.18.5b

Facebook Is a Test of Emotional Resilience

With the tumultuous political landscape, these last couple weeks have certainly been a test of mental and emotional strength. Oh, the numerous times I’ve wanted to yell at my phone after reading the latest headline from our Idiot President and his Administration of Unqualified Lackeys. Believe me, in the beginning I shared almost every post that angered me and accompanied it with an enraged comment.

But after a while, something changed. I realized it was taking an emotional toll on me. By applying a little logic, I learned my anger wasn’t productive. I think that’s the important thing to recognize when our goal is to control emotions. We have to ask ourselves: how is this beneficial?

This is not to say that anger, frustration, and anxiety are not valid emotions. They are part of the myriad of human feelings and should be accepted as equal to the others. These feelings should be acknowledged as valid, but dismissed due to their lack of positive contribution.

“Frame your thoughts like this—you are an old person, you won’t let yourself be enslaved by this any longer, no longer pulled like a puppet by every impulse, and you’ll stop complaining about your present fortune or dreading the future.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 2.2

Eventually I stopped leaving my angry comments on Facebook. Instead I started creating new notes in Evernote, a subscription note service, and venting there. I knew my negative energy needed to be channeled, but I didn’t want to put it out into the the world. Evernote allowed me to pour it out into a private space so that I didn’t just bury it deep inside.

Not Every Instigation Needs a Response

“Fans and opponents called boxer Joe Louis the ‘Ring Robot’ because he was utterly unemotional—his cold, calm demeanor was far more terrifying than any crazed look or emotional outburst would have been.[1]Page 41. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.”

I admire that kind of demeanor, at least when the situation calls for it. In order to control emotions and stop the cycle of anger, we have to stop allowing ourselves to be provoked. We have to rise above our impulses and resist the urge to respond.

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What is Friday Focus?

The Friday Focus post is an article related to the reflectional reader I’ve chosen for the year. It enables me to study and retain what I’m reading.

Interested in what I’m reading?

Buy The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman from Amazon Today

References

References
↑1Page 41. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.

Stoic Philosophy on Money and Material Possessions

Posted on by Kristine

My Friday Focus post is a couple days late because I’m still getting back into the rhythm of blogging after begin sick for a few days. In this week’s daily readings on stoic philosophy, there seemed to be a lot of focus on money and possessions. The timing of it was perfect because with it being the beginning of a new year, this is when we all often stop and take stock in our lives. Almost always that inventory includes habits and possessions.

Craig and I are constantly working on our house and ourselves. It seems like everywhere we turn in our tiny abode, there’s something that needs to be fixed, thrown away, or improved.

“Let’s pass over to the really rich—how often the occasions they look just like the poor! When they travel abroad they must restrict their baggage, and when haste is necessary, they dismiss their entourage. And those who are in the army, how few of their possessions they get to keep…”[1]Seneca, On Consolation to Helvia, 12. 1.b-2

Seneca was one of the richest men in Rome. He knows a thing or two about money. He believed money only marginally changed things in life. It doesn’t solve the problems that people without it think it will.

What it comes down to is this: external things can’t fix internal issues.

Everyone talks about this minimalist movement. So maybe the reason why Craig and I feel like our house is so small is because we have so much stuff. Maybe if we just pared down to just the essentials and a few sentimental things, we wouldn’t feel like our home was so… unfinished.

“What’s left to be prized? This, I think—to limit our action or inaction to only what’s in keeping with the needs of our own preparation… it’s what the exertions of education and teaching are all about—here is the thing to be prized! If you hold this firmly, you’ll stop trying to get yourself all the other things…. If you don’t, you won’t be free, self-sufficient, or liberated from passion, but necessarily full of envy, jealousy, and suspicion for any who have the power to take them, and you’ll plot against those who do have what you prize…. But by having some self-respect for your own mind and prizing it, you will please yourself and be in better harmony with your fellow human beings, and more in tune with the gods—praising everything they have set in order and allotted you.”[2]Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.16.2b-4a

In The Daily Stoic, the author mentions Warren Buffett still lives in the same house he bought in 1958 for $31,500 even though today he’s worth approximately $65 billion.

A lineman for the Baltimore Ravens makes millions but still manages to live on $25,000 a year.

And although the author emphasizes that these men are not by any means cheap, he clearly states that the things that matter to them are cheap. This isn’t just how they are, this is the result of prioritizing. They’ve attained a certain clarity that a lot of us wish to have, or aren’t even aware of. They could lose all their millions or suffer an injury that would take them out for a season and still enjoy their lives.

“The more things we desire and the more we have to do to earn or attain those achievements, the less we actually enjoy our lives—and the less free we are.”[3]Page 33. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.

I think this week’s stoic philosophy readings have made an impact on my view of our material possessions. Rather than complaining about how little room we have, now I’m beginning to think perhaps it’s not the space that needs to be evaluated, it’s the things in the space.

What is Friday Focus?

The Friday Focus post is an article related to the reflectional reader I’ve chosen for the year. It enables me to study and retain what I’m reading.

Interested in what I’m reading?

Buy The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman from Amazon Today

References

References
↑1Seneca, On Consolation to Helvia, 12. 1.b-2
↑2Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.16.2b-4a
↑3Page 33. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.

Our Best Life Is Already Here

Posted on by Kristine

We’re conditioned to think our best life has yet to be lived. It’s somewhere far off into the future, travel the world to find it, or maybe just waiting around the corner. We have to wish for it, pray for it, and hope that, on imaginary lottery night when they draw the winner, our name gets called.

live a better lifeThe truth is our best life is right here. It’s already happening as we speak.

“The image of the Zen philosopher is the monk up in the green, quiet hills, or in a beautiful temple on some rocky cliff. The Stoics are the antitheses of this idea. Instead, they are the man in the marketplace, the senator in the Forum, the brave wife waiting for her soldier to return from battle, the sculptor busy in the studio.”[1]Page 19. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.

I believe there is a valuable lesson in this passage. It’s important that, especially in this modern era, we find peace where we are in our own environment. Because we’re not always going to have enough PTO to make that 4 week pilgrimage to find ourselves. We may not even be able to save up enough money for that trip to the Amazon to visit the magical shaman that’s supposed to help guide our spirit.

Stoicism teaches us that we have to exercise our mind to bring about the peace and serenity we seek, regardless of our environment.

What is Friday Focus?

The Friday Focus post is an article related to the reflectional reader I’ve chosen for the year. It enables me to study and retain what I’m reading.

Interested in what I’m reading?

Buy The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman from Amazon Today

References

References
↑1Page 19. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.

The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday: 2017 Reflectional Reader

Posted on by Kristine

Two years ago I was at a point in my life where I was losing focus and I needed something to ground me and keep me centered. I explored yoga, discovered meditation, and practiced breathing techniques. Then I discovered devotionals. Daily devotionals are books that provide a spiritual reading for each day of the calendar year.

Usually daily devotional literature is religiously themed, which I am not. However, I do have an open mind, so I started off with New Year New You by Joyce Meyer. Each day I read a page, I pondered and I wrote in my journal. I considered what message was being conveyed through the text. How do I interpret it? How does it work for me (for the good of mankind)?

It was a good starter. Each day was related to a bible verse, so I even went as far as looking up said verse in a little handheld bible that a friend gave me a couple years ago. I read it from cover to cover. I was pretty proud of myself for accomplishing a year-long task.

Then when it came to choose my next one for 2016, I found Savor: Living Abundantly Where You Are, As You Are by Shauna Niequist.

I enjoyed this one as well. The author shares daily stories and bible verses as well as personal recipes. She believes that “spiritual living happens not only when you read and pray, but also when you eat and gather with friends and family.”

And then this year, I’ve taken a bit of a departure with this one by choosing The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman. I discovered this book when I participated in a binge eating rehab group last year.

In fact, The Daily Stoic started out as a daily blog that you can (and probably should) subscribe to if you like motivational reading. If you’re like me and have no idea what stoicism is (other than the textbook definition of the word “stoic”), I highly recommend signing up for their 7-day intro into what stoicism is. It’s a great little crash course.

This book isn’t really a daily devotional in the traditional sense since it doesn’t repeat verses from the bible. Instead each calendar day features “a devotional of Stoic insights and exercises featuring all-new translations from the Emperor Marcus Aurelius, the playwright Seneca, or the slave-turned-philosopher Epictetus.” In fact, maybe I’ll call this my “reflectional reading” rather than “daily devotional.” It’s a little more secular, ambivalent.

I love the philosophical perspective of The Daily Stoic. It’s different from the others and I think it speaks more to me than bible verses.

Friday Focus: Clarify Your Intentions

Early on in my career, I had a fantastic mentor that I met with once a month. When I had to lead a pretty sizeable project of implementing a project management system and process, one of the first lessons he taught me was to begin with the end in mind.

I never forgot that lesson. I recite that in my head to this day each time I’m trying to solve a problem, whether I’m at work or at home. This week, the topic that really stood out for me was called Clarify Your Intentions on January 5. This solidified the importance of that early lesson my mentor taught me and reminded me that everyone needs to have an intent, a purpose. Purpose guides our actions. Actions lead to meaningful success, which makes a life worth living.

Two years ago I lacked a purpose. That’s what set me on my journey. And here I am. While I don’t feel I’m quite there yet, I feel like I’m a few steps closer.

Will I ever find that one true purpose? I don’t know. Maybe I never will. But at least in the meantime, I’m enjoying the search.

Interested in what I’m reading?

Buy The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman from Amazon Today