Category: Life

To Control Emotions Can Be as Simple as Applying Logic

Posted on by Kristine

If you check in on my Friday posts, I usually reflect on what I’ve read during the week in my daily reader (read my post The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday: 2017 Reflectional Reader).  The month of February is all about passion and emotions. If anything, this is what stoicism is most commonly associated with so I was pretty happy to learn that this would be the subject matter. One of the things I’ve either inherently known all my life, or learned early on, is that to control emotions can be as simple as applying logic.

“Keep this thought handy when you feel a fit of rage coming on—it isn’t manly to be enraged. Rather, gentleness and civility are more human, and therefore manlier. A real man doesn’t give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance—unlike the angry and complaining. The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 11.18.5b

Facebook Is a Test of Emotional Resilience

With the tumultuous political landscape, these last couple weeks have certainly been a test of mental and emotional strength. Oh, the numerous times I’ve wanted to yell at my phone after reading the latest headline from our Idiot President and his Administration of Unqualified Lackeys. Believe me, in the beginning I shared almost every post that angered me and accompanied it with an enraged comment.

But after a while, something changed. I realized it was taking an emotional toll on me. By applying a little logic, I learned my anger wasn’t productive. I think that’s the important thing to recognize when our goal is to control emotions. We have to ask ourselves: how is this beneficial?

This is not to say that anger, frustration, and anxiety are not valid emotions. They are part of the myriad of human feelings and should be accepted as equal to the others. These feelings should be acknowledged as valid, but dismissed due to their lack of positive contribution.

“Frame your thoughts like this—you are an old person, you won’t let yourself be enslaved by this any longer, no longer pulled like a puppet by every impulse, and you’ll stop complaining about your present fortune or dreading the future.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 2.2

Eventually I stopped leaving my angry comments on Facebook. Instead I started creating new notes in Evernote, a subscription note service, and venting there. I knew my negative energy needed to be channeled, but I didn’t want to put it out into the the world. Evernote allowed me to pour it out into a private space so that I didn’t just bury it deep inside.

Not Every Instigation Needs a Response

“Fans and opponents called boxer Joe Louis the ‘Ring Robot’ because he was utterly unemotional—his cold, calm demeanor was far more terrifying than any crazed look or emotional outburst would have been.[1]Page 41. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.”

I admire that kind of demeanor, at least when the situation calls for it. In order to control emotions and stop the cycle of anger, we have to stop allowing ourselves to be provoked. We have to rise above our impulses and resist the urge to respond.

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What is Friday Focus?

The Friday Focus post is an article related to the reflectional reader I’ve chosen for the year. It enables me to study and retain what I’m reading.

Interested in what I’m reading?

Buy The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman from Amazon Today

References

References
↑1Page 41. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.

Stoic Philosophy on Money and Material Possessions

Posted on by Kristine

My Friday Focus post is a couple days late because I’m still getting back into the rhythm of blogging after begin sick for a few days. In this week’s daily readings on stoic philosophy, there seemed to be a lot of focus on money and possessions. The timing of it was perfect because with it being the beginning of a new year, this is when we all often stop and take stock in our lives. Almost always that inventory includes habits and possessions.

Craig and I are constantly working on our house and ourselves. It seems like everywhere we turn in our tiny abode, there’s something that needs to be fixed, thrown away, or improved.

“Let’s pass over to the really rich—how often the occasions they look just like the poor! When they travel abroad they must restrict their baggage, and when haste is necessary, they dismiss their entourage. And those who are in the army, how few of their possessions they get to keep…”[1]Seneca, On Consolation to Helvia, 12. 1.b-2

Seneca was one of the richest men in Rome. He knows a thing or two about money. He believed money only marginally changed things in life. It doesn’t solve the problems that people without it think it will.

What it comes down to is this: external things can’t fix internal issues.

Everyone talks about this minimalist movement. So maybe the reason why Craig and I feel like our house is so small is because we have so much stuff. Maybe if we just pared down to just the essentials and a few sentimental things, we wouldn’t feel like our home was so… unfinished.

“What’s left to be prized? This, I think—to limit our action or inaction to only what’s in keeping with the needs of our own preparation… it’s what the exertions of education and teaching are all about—here is the thing to be prized! If you hold this firmly, you’ll stop trying to get yourself all the other things…. If you don’t, you won’t be free, self-sufficient, or liberated from passion, but necessarily full of envy, jealousy, and suspicion for any who have the power to take them, and you’ll plot against those who do have what you prize…. But by having some self-respect for your own mind and prizing it, you will please yourself and be in better harmony with your fellow human beings, and more in tune with the gods—praising everything they have set in order and allotted you.”[2]Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.16.2b-4a

In The Daily Stoic, the author mentions Warren Buffett still lives in the same house he bought in 1958 for $31,500 even though today he’s worth approximately $65 billion.

A lineman for the Baltimore Ravens makes millions but still manages to live on $25,000 a year.

And although the author emphasizes that these men are not by any means cheap, he clearly states that the things that matter to them are cheap. This isn’t just how they are, this is the result of prioritizing. They’ve attained a certain clarity that a lot of us wish to have, or aren’t even aware of. They could lose all their millions or suffer an injury that would take them out for a season and still enjoy their lives.

“The more things we desire and the more we have to do to earn or attain those achievements, the less we actually enjoy our lives—and the less free we are.”[3]Page 33. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.

I think this week’s stoic philosophy readings have made an impact on my view of our material possessions. Rather than complaining about how little room we have, now I’m beginning to think perhaps it’s not the space that needs to be evaluated, it’s the things in the space.

What is Friday Focus?

The Friday Focus post is an article related to the reflectional reader I’ve chosen for the year. It enables me to study and retain what I’m reading.

Interested in what I’m reading?

Buy The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman from Amazon Today

References

References
↑1Seneca, On Consolation to Helvia, 12. 1.b-2
↑2Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.16.2b-4a
↑3Page 33. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.
planner stamps

Weekly Planner Layout Using Planner Stamps

Posted on by Kristine

The last several days have been a wash. I spent Thursday through Saturday at home trying to recover from a debilitating sinus infection. It wasn’t until Monday afternoon that my head began to clear up. Now that’s out of the way, I’m finding my rhythm again.

I’ve been incorporating more visual elements into my planner starting with planner themed stamps. I’ve done this before in my previous planner but it just didn’t look right to me. With this new layout, the dot grid makes a perfect base for arranging stamped images and text in a more visually pleasing manner.

I started out with two planner stamp sets. I’ve had the Bo Bunny stamp set for several years already. In fact they have an updated version which you can purchase on Amazon.

The other set I have is from Waffle Flower Stamps called Stay Focused. I prefer their stamp type because it’s photopolymer rather than the cheaper vinyl.

Didn’t know there were two types of clear acrylic stamps? Check out this blog post from Ink Stains with Roni. She does a great job explaining the difference between the two types and why one is better than the other.

I don’t often carry stamps around with me, but if I do, below is what I would normally have.

planner stamps
Clockwise from top left: Memento Dye Ink (Tuxedo Black), Acrylic Blocks, Bo Bunny Clearly Calendar Stamps, Stay Focused Photopolymer stamps from Waffle Flower.

 

digital detox

The Digital Detox Agenda: A Follow Up

Posted on by Kristine

Sometimes the perfect way to research a topic for a blog post is to conduct an experiment on said topic and then fail so that you can learn from your failure. This is what happened this weekend. A few weeks ago, I wrote about the digital detox and how productive it made me. This weekend I planned on adding a new element to it: the digital detox agenda. The goal of the digital detox agenda was to not only make me productive but to make sure I was productive where I needed to be.

I had a regularly-scheduled digital detox on my calendar for Saturday and Sunday. I knew this would be the perfect time to not only architect the digital detox agenda but also blog about it. I quickly put together an agenda (basically a to-do list). Done.

Here’s where I failed: I didn’t review the rules of the digital detox prior to starting. I didn’t put together a plan of action to stick to the rules and avoid being distracted. Instead I halfheartedly participated in my own digital detox. I didn’t stay off Facebook the entire time and even though a lot of my tasks were supposed to be completed on the computer, I didn’t stay on task. By Sunday night, I barely accomplished 1 item on my list.

Lessons Learned

First of all, the digital detox agenda is just your to-do list for the weekend. When you construct it, you have to take into consideration the amount of available time you have to devote to it.

For example, if you have prior commitments like an 8 hour family gathering on a Saturday, more than likely you’ll really only have Sunday to devote to completing things on your list.

Simply stated: don’t overcommit yourself.

Second, review your digital detox rules and stick to them. Hell, print them out and make them visible at your work space. But always be aware of what the rules of the game are.

Third, check yourself. Always check your progress. Learn from your mistakes. Figure out what works and what doesn’t. We’ll never get better if we don’t fail every once in awhile.

Our Best Life Is Already Here

Posted on by Kristine

We’re conditioned to think our best life has yet to be lived. It’s somewhere far off into the future, travel the world to find it, or maybe just waiting around the corner. We have to wish for it, pray for it, and hope that, on imaginary lottery night when they draw the winner, our name gets called.

live a better lifeThe truth is our best life is right here. It’s already happening as we speak.

“The image of the Zen philosopher is the monk up in the green, quiet hills, or in a beautiful temple on some rocky cliff. The Stoics are the antitheses of this idea. Instead, they are the man in the marketplace, the senator in the Forum, the brave wife waiting for her soldier to return from battle, the sculptor busy in the studio.”[1]Page 19. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.

I believe there is a valuable lesson in this passage. It’s important that, especially in this modern era, we find peace where we are in our own environment. Because we’re not always going to have enough PTO to make that 4 week pilgrimage to find ourselves. We may not even be able to save up enough money for that trip to the Amazon to visit the magical shaman that’s supposed to help guide our spirit.

Stoicism teaches us that we have to exercise our mind to bring about the peace and serenity we seek, regardless of our environment.

What is Friday Focus?

The Friday Focus post is an article related to the reflectional reader I’ve chosen for the year. It enables me to study and retain what I’m reading.

Interested in what I’m reading?

Buy The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman from Amazon Today

References

References
↑1Page 19. Holiday, Ryan, and Hanselman, Stephen. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Penguin Random House LLC 2016.