The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday: 2017 Reflectional Reader

Posted on January 7, 2017April 22, 2017 by Kristine

Two years ago I was at a point in my life where I was losing focus and I needed something to ground me and keep me centered. I explored yoga, discovered meditation, and practiced breathing techniques. Then I discovered devotionals. Daily devotionals are books that provide a spiritual reading for each day of the calendar year.

Usually daily devotional literature is religiously themed, which I am not. However, I do have an open mind, so I started off with New Year New You by Joyce Meyer. Each day I read a page, I pondered and I wrote in my journal. I considered what message was being conveyed through the text. How do I interpret it? How does it work for me (for the good of mankind)?

It was a good starter. Each day was related to a bible verse, so I even went as far as looking up said verse in a little handheld bible that a friend gave me a couple years ago. I read it from cover to cover. I was pretty proud of myself for accomplishing a year-long task.

Then when it came to choose my next one for 2016, I found Savor: Living Abundantly Where You Are, As You Are by Shauna Niequist.

I enjoyed this one as well. The author shares daily stories and bible verses as well as personal recipes. She believes that “spiritual living happens not only when you read and pray, but also when you eat and gather with friends and family.”

And then this year, I’ve taken a bit of a departure with this one by choosing The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman. I discovered this book when I participated in a binge eating rehab group last year.

In fact, The Daily Stoic started out as a daily blog that you can (and probably should) subscribe to if you like motivational reading. If you’re like me and have no idea what stoicism is (other than the textbook definition of the word “stoic”), I highly recommend signing up for their 7-day intro into what stoicism is. It’s a great little crash course.

This book isn’t really a daily devotional in the traditional sense since it doesn’t repeat verses from the bible. Instead each calendar day features “a devotional of Stoic insights and exercises featuring all-new translations from the Emperor Marcus Aurelius, the playwright Seneca, or the slave-turned-philosopher Epictetus.” In fact, maybe I’ll call this my “reflectional reading” rather than “daily devotional.” It’s a little more secular, ambivalent.

I love the philosophical perspective of The Daily Stoic. It’s different from the others and I think it speaks more to me than bible verses.

Friday Focus: Clarify Your Intentions

Early on in my career, I had a fantastic mentor that I met with once a month. When I had to lead a pretty sizeable project of implementing a project management system and process, one of the first lessons he taught me was to begin with the end in mind.

I never forgot that lesson. I recite that in my head to this day each time I’m trying to solve a problem, whether I’m at work or at home. This week, the topic that really stood out for me was called Clarify Your Intentions on January 5. This solidified the importance of that early lesson my mentor taught me and reminded me that everyone needs to have an intent, a purpose. Purpose guides our actions. Actions lead to meaningful success, which makes a life worth living.

Two years ago I lacked a purpose. That’s what set me on my journey. And here I am. While I don’t feel I’m quite there yet, I feel like I’m a few steps closer.

Will I ever find that one true purpose? I don’t know. Maybe I never will. But at least in the meantime, I’m enjoying the search.

Interested in what I’m reading?

Buy The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman from Amazon Today

A River Doesn’t Change Its Path Overnight

Posted on January 6, 2017January 6, 2017 by Kristine

There are some memories that stick with you forever no matter how much time passes. At a young age, my parents used to run blood tests on me to check my numbers: cholesterol (LDL and HDL), triglycerides, hba1c, blood glucose, etc.

Metabolic syndrome runs rampant on both sides of my family so just as any parent would use a safety belt on their child, my parents thought that checking my cholesterol and blood sugar would keep me (the plumpest of all their children) safe. I learned about what cholesterol was way earlier than all my friends and therefore had an advantage. Yet ironically it still didn’t change the outcome in the end.

Whenever it was time to take a sample my mom woke me up really early in the morning before school. I sat down at the kitchen table, upon which there was a little kit containing their blood drawing supplies. She swiped the tip of my finger with an alcohol pad, pricked it with a sterile needle and squeezed it until a bright red globule appeared. She then continued to squeeze my finger and fill a tiny vial with enough of a sample for testing. Sometimes she would do this while I was awake, other times I would be still asleep at the table. And it wasn’t always my mom that did this, sometimes it would be my dad.

When they were done, they would clean my finger, wrap it in a bandage and send me back to bed until I had to wake up for school.

And afterward when my mom returned home from work (because she was the one that usually did the test at the lab), she would have my test results. It was usually printed on a rudimentary dot matrix printout with columns of numbers and data, but it determined the type of “talk” I would receive about my health and eating habits.

Sometimes if my cholesterol was a bit on the high side, I would get the “too much fat” talk. Or if my triglycerides were too high, it would be the “too many carbohydrates” talk. And if my hba1c or blood glucose numbers were too high, it would be the “diabetes” talk. They reminded me of how high blood pressure and diabetes run in our family, and named multiple family members on both sides who dealt with it. The possibility of being added to that list was minimal.

Twenty years later, I was still being stuck with needles and still reading test results. This time they officially came from my doctor. “You now have diabetes,” the latest message read.

The phrase was written in a harsh font, Courier New. Not many people like that font, but as a programmer, I appreciated it. It’s a fixed width font often used to differentiate code. In fact it was similar to the dot matrix printouts my mom used to bring home with my lab results. Now it was on my screen displaying a secure email from my doctor.

To get to the point though, the facts are as follows: my latest routine blood work showed my hba1c number increased 0.6 points. That’s the highest it’s been ever. Not only that, it put me in the “diabetic” range. So after spending the last couple years trying to lower everything–lower my hba1c and lower my weight–my body (or maybe it was me?) finally gave up the fight.

I have type 2 diabetes.

That same week I called my mom and I told her. She seemed disappointed, like all her hard work was in vain. Or maybe she was just disappointed to know that this could potentially complicate things for me a lot sooner in life.

She told me what I had to do to manage it and I listened, as if I hadn’t heard it a million times before. And at the end of the call she said, “You take care of yourself, ok?”

“I always do,” I said.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I’ve been reading a lot on diabetes, especially when you’re in the pre-diabetic or in the “just diagnosed” stage. Everyone goes through a range of emotions in the beginning–from fear to anger and depression. Some people deny it or pretend like it’s less serious than it is. Where do I see myself on the scale?

I’ve been living with this for over 2 weeks now and I think I’m closer to accepting it now than I was before. I think of the things I could’ve done to delay this stage. There are so many of them. Maybe today will be the day I take things seriously.

How to Earn Lunch Money with Ebates

Posted on January 2, 2017January 2, 2017 by Kristine

If someone told me I could passively earn a little money on the side by shopping online, I would slap them silly and laugh in their face before walking away. To get paid for spending money online? Idiots! Little did I know it was true. And since I’ve signed up, I’ve earned a little over $130 back in cash (perhaps more if I was diligent about it). So with just a little browser extension and some know-how, here’s how you can earn extra money with Ebates.

But First, What IS Ebates?

Ebates is the leader in online cash back shopping. They’ve been doing it since 1998 so they know a thing or two about the business. But how does Ebates earn the money to pay you the cash? When a retailer joins their network, that retailer agrees to pay a commission for each sale referred via Ebates. So not only do you earn your cash back on the sale, but so does Ebates. That fee covers their overhead costs.

With Ebates, you can earn up to 40% cashback on your purchase price. They have a wide network of retailers (over 2,000 to be exact) so no matter what you’re shopping for, Ebates probably has a retailer that sells it. In addition to cash back savings, Ebates also offers coupon codes that you can stack for additional savings.

This is a list of retailers I’ve earned Ebates cash back from just within the past month:

With Ebates, the spectrum is broad. In addition to clothing and beauty retailers, they also have other retailers in the home goods category, electronics, office supplies, flowers and gifts, and more.

Tip #1 Sign Up

So the first step to saving money with Ebates is to sign up. It’s pretty simple and it’s free. To make the process even easier, you can either use your Facebook account or Google account to sign up. Otherwise you can just sign up using your email address.

Tip #2 Install the Ebates Cash Back Button

If you’re like me and have difficulty developing new habits, you’re probably going to need a little help with Ebates. That’s where their Cash Back browser button comes in handy.

The browser button works in several popular desktop browsers such as Chrome, Firefox and Safari. If you are one of those poor saps still using a Microsoft browser, what are you doing?!

The features of the cash back button:

When you visit an Ebates retailer, it pops up with an alert letting you know you can earn cash back on this website. It even tells you the percentage. No more forgetting to go through Ebates first when you’re on a shopping high!
It gives you an easily accessible way to see how much cash you’ve earned during the current quarter.
You can quickly search their database to see if a retailer is part of their network and how much cash back they offer–all without leaving the page you’re currently on.

Ebates Cash Back plugin — The Cash Back Button from Ebates comes in handy when you happen to land on a retailer that is part of their network.

Admittedly I didn’t install the button when I first signed up. Once I did however, my cash back savings significantly increased. I racked up the biggest cash back amount I’ve ever received since starting Ebates. It was more than double the highest amount prior to that.

Tip #3 Subscribe to Their Promotional Emails

If there’s anyone who hates promotional emails, it’s me. I receive hundreds of emails a day and there are thousands currently sitting in my inbox. So yeah I know a little bit about being marketed to.

However, sometimes emails can be useful, especially when they’re emails letting you know about Double Cash Back days. Yes, folks, Double Cash Back days are days when Ebates’ Cash Back rewards double, therefore increasing your earning potential. Usually only certain stores participate in this promotion at one time, and it only happens for a limited time so this is usually the best time to use Ebates.

Tip #4 Shop ‘Til You Drop (As Long As You Go Through Ebates First!)

Like I mentioned earlier, the trick to getting the most from Ebates is to actually use it when you need to make purchases from participating retailers.

This also means you’ll probably have to shop through the Ebates phone app as well. Not to say that the Ebates app is sub-par, it’s really just a browser that takes you to the retailer’s website and enables their tracking capability.

Unfortunately right now there’s no way to receive Ebates shopping credit by shopping through a retailer’s mobile app. So if you like to shop through your phone as opposed to a desktop browser, you’ll have to make it a habit to use the Ebates app first.

There are a few things to be realistic about when it comes to Ebates:

Don’t expect to earn a living with Ebates. This won’t be your ticket out of a dead end job. This is only meant to be a way save some change on purchase you already make online. That’s why this post only touts earning lunch money!
Average savings per transaction, in my experience, range from an average of $1-$5. More than that and it’s probably a good day.
Don’t buy something through Ebates at regular price JUST because it was a Double Cash Back day. Remember: the best time to shop is when it’s a Double Cash Back day AND the retailer is having a sale. That’s savings on top of cash back, which is the ideal combination.

And the most important rule to saving money when shopping (a rule that often gets forgotten!): DON’T BUY ANYTHING YOU DON’T NEED. I know. I wish I could follow this rule too!

Don’t forget–if you haven’t signed up, you can sign up via my affiliate link below.

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Truman Capote in the Clutter living room.

Booklist Updates: A Foray into the True Crime Novel

Posted on December 25, 2016December 26, 2016 by Kristine

Thoughts on In Cold Blood by Truman Capote

I knew very little about Truman Capote before I read this book. Yes, I knew the name. I knew the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s, but that’s all. I honestly had no idea he had a side of him that was fascinated by tragedy.

Although, maybe to some–Holly Golightly’s character would be considered tragic. But we’ll save that for another discussion.

In Cold Blood recounts what happens when the senseless murders of an entire, well-to-do family rock the sleepy town of Holcomb, Kansas. It is a true story of that one windy night in November 1959 when Dick Hickock and Perry Smith decide they’re going to invade, rob, and ultimately massacre the Clutter Family in the middle of the night.

Richard Eugene Hickock (left) and Perry Edward Smith (right) murdered 4 members of the Clutter family in Holcomb, KS in 1959.

Despite the fact that I Googled the real life event before I finished the book, I still read it poised at the edge of my seat. I give credit to Capote’s gift for storytelling.

From what I found in my Googling, though, others accused Capote for taking certain liberties with his story. In fact, there were a few reports that some conversations or encounters hadn’t even taken place.

I think I would agree with that considering this man didn’t even take notes when he interviewed people. He relied on his memory and tapes.

In addition to that, there were no footnotes at the end of the book. There was no appendix that listed times and dates of interviews, etc. So yeah, could it be 100% accurate? Maybe not. But that doesn’t deny the fact that it’s a superbly written, thoughtfully constructed piece of dramatic literature. However, according to the lead investigator, Capote’s book was largely factually true.

Craig and I watched the movie adaptation shortly after I finished the book. He saw it before, but because he loved it so much, he was up for watching it again.

In Cold Blood directed by Richard Brooks (1967) — In Cold Blood directed by Richard Brooks (Columbia Pictures 1967).

It was well done. Disturbing, especially for the time period. However, the event itself was disturbing so you can only put so much lipstick on a hog, you know. But while the movie did a good job of painting the big picture, it could never capture the detail that spilled out of the pages of the book. That’s true for any movie adaptation, not just this one.

Craig described it as “one of the greatest character study films within the subject of crime/justice drama” and I would enthusiastically agree with him.

Life After a Loved One’s Death Isn’t So Complex After All

Posted on December 12, 2016April 22, 2017 by Kristine

It’s been 4 years since my dad passed away. They say life after a loved one’s death gets easier. Sometimes it does. But I won’t lie, I do have days where I wish he was here.

Life After a Loved One's Death Isn't Complicated After All — My dad and I at the Founder’s Parade. This was probably 1986 or 1987.

I think most of all, I wish he was here to meet Craig. I know he would’ve loved him as much as I do. They would’ve gotten along so well. I picture my dad’s face lighting up when Craig and I would come over for family dinners, maybe even offering him a beer. They would talk excitedly about going to the gun range the following weekend. And of course my mom would be displeased because Dad would probably take a detour on the way home and buy some new gun Craig would mention.

That’s how I imagine life would be if he were still here.

Last night, we were at my mom’s house for a little family gathering. We get together every year to say a prayer in remembrance of my dad. My aunts, my uncle, and my sisters and brother and their kids were there.

Everyone took turns sharing a fond memory about my dad. It was then that Craig, who normally is a bit shy around large groups of unfamiliar people, spoke up.

I don’t remember exactly what he said verbatim because I was too overcome with emotion to recall. But basically he said that even though he wasn’t fortunate enough to meet my dad when he was alive, he feels like he’s seen the kind of man he was through everyone’s memories of him and that he’s lucky to be marrying into a family like ours. He only wishes he had been here to walk his daughter down the aisle.

I smiled at him and I patted his knee. My heart bursted out of my chest with pride. I always knew that I wanted to marry someone who would understand how much my parents mean to me, whether they’re living or not. Craig fits that role. He understands that. They say everything falls into place when you meet the one you’re supposed to be with. We are living proof.

This was taken Thanksgiving 2008 maybe.

Kristine Macabare

A Wordpress Developer and Her Obsessions

Category: Life